


Coucou les Nouilles

by boubigolpa, flosz



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack Relationships, M/M, im drunk lol, im so sorry, lisez mes fics drd2 bande de nuls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:41:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27168785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boubigolpa/pseuds/boubigolpa, https://archiveofourown.org/users/flosz/pseuds/flosz
Summary: I don’t even know like Harry in the fifth book has to fight Voldy from entering his brain or smtg and just imagine he really was a horny teen (for Draco and Cedric lol) and then Snape sees this lmao juste imgine what would happen, you don’t well good my fic is here
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Comments: 5
Kudos: 11





	Coucou les Nouilles

**Author's Note:**

> swaggos la family i love you all stan Jim Parsons for clear skin say thanks to @flosz

Harry was in a trance. Lost.

Where was he? His mind wondered. Countless memories were flowing through his mind and he couldn’t focus on any “Concentrate Harry, cncentrate“  
but on what? 

Only one thought came to his mind and relaxed him.

Draco Malefoy.

The only person in the castle who understood him.  
Perhaps even in the world but who knwos maybe a wizard dwarf from the midle east was really his soulmate but draco would siuffice for now (attends im sorry melfoy has n e after the l in french wow just ignore what i said) 

He had been secretl dating Malfoy for about seven months now; they had exchanged a few owls over the summer, Hedwig kinda tired from all that flippity flap flap of wings ya know so she was like “y’all should just kiss already“ so they did when they got back to school but they were supposed to be enemies therefore they only made out in secret like the horny teenagers they were. Those were only good memories and Harry knew he souldn’t be thinkingabout those makeout sessions when Snape his beloved teacher (lol) wwas probs conscient of everything but you know when you think about not thinking of something well that’s the only thing you actually think about and Harry Potter is no ecxeption so like yeah that was funny

Snape be like “whaaaaaat my golden boi fucks the stupid little james uuuh sorry harry im forty but never moved on from my middle school years“.

And then Harry’s like “merlin fuck“ so he wakes up ans —s im gonna cry why isn’t it working  
so Snape’s like “uuuh well Pauttah I never wanted to see that“

“wash your hair maybe you’ll feel better“ Harry snickered 

“WHAT“ Snape exclaimed “This just cost y’all gryffinidk one thousand points“ he smiled through his yellow gritted teeth

“joke’s one u Professor, Dumbledore gave me five thousand points for breathing last week lol u screwed“

“que dices? you know what Potter I think you deserve a little punishment“

“punishment??????????“ harry asked, shook af

“well yes you heard me tthe first time are you even more stupid than your dad? let me remind you that i never forgot the day your dad saved me from getting killed by a werewolf so i decided to hate him bc my crush liked him better“ 

“whot? you know what im not even interested just spank me already“

“u want spankin“

“ja ja bretzel“ 

So then Snape got to work and spanked Harry Golden Boi Potter on tg-he buttt and it was awesome for harry bc he likes it, his secret bf not so secret bc snape found out in his memories (remember?) does it for him all the time and he likes it  
so harry and snape fuck and that’s the end of the fic bc im too embarassed to write smut

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry im drunk


End file.
